How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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