I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
