Dual....:-)
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He passed out mid-signature
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
