Dual....:-)
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
