One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
