Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
