He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
