I need help removing her.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
