Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
