It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
