I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
