I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
