was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
There are leaves in my underwear?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize