Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize