She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
