I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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