glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
