she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
