he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It's blow job season.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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