I must be too annoying 4 u.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
