you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The uberlube is also flammable
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
