his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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