i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
