Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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