I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
