3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
