i can't believe i had my finger in that
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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