I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
