why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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