Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
