How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
where are my eyebrows?
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