He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
