You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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