He kissed a someone with a penis
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
