Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
