I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
