i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
