I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
