he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
