i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
