we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
