When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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