ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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