let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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