You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
nutella sex= disaster
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
