I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
