We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize