I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
