Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
