Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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