The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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