I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
