So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
