He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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