i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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