What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
