His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
