i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
