My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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