Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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