I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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