After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
