So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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