I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
