It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Do vagina's smell?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
