Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
