I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
