it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
