Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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