Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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