That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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