so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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