Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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